MOTIVATORS INTERNATIONAL

MOTIVATORS INTERNATIONAL
THE ROUNDTABLE

Monday 25 July 2011

THE PERFECT PARTNER


        Sliding down the stairs, Becky knew that something was not right as she tried to fix her left ear ring. Her fluffy hair flung side by side as she tried to conceal her pain that was silently hitting the roof. She had dreamed of a good home, children round the diner table, comfortable car and above all, a loving husband on whose broad and loving shoulder to lean on.
         Now it seems elusive, everything was crumbling gradually, stumbling into oblivion. The conjugal bliss had only lasted three years; a union that was amalgamated amidst pomp and pageantry. “It was a society wedding!” exclaimed her bridesmaid after her wedding day. The moments were reassuring of a life time of bliss but indeed, it was far from that.
       “Life is way beyond the soft words of encouragements, beyond the glamour on the wedding day, the piled up gifts from well wishers and the smiles that seem endless.” She thought deeply as those recalcitrant thoughts betray her innermost composure. Her eyes fell on the wedding picture and it reminded her like yesterday when she walked down the aisle and how the passing years and enormous stress she has had to endure had contributed to the silent wrinkle on her frail frame.
          Toby her husband was 6feet tall, a great body built with polished grammar, nice class, exquisite style and impeccable cologne. Indeed, these were sterling qualities enough to surpass Becky’s acceptance threshold for a man fit enough to be a life partner. His nose was pointed, his set of teeth were like dazzling blinks of the morning star. To say that Toby was handsome would be a grand understatement. In reality, he was a replica of her vision and in not so long a time, the nuptial nuts were tied, down the aisle they walked, hand in hand they strolled, souls on loan, sweethearts to be, surely forever!
            Hours melted, days passed and months swept the years by in hasty forgetfulness. With each passing day, the rims of their ties, the framework of their bonds, the concentration of their love suffered severe jerky chills in their quest to survive a freaky chilly world. However, Toby was a chauvinist and Becky, by a stroke of ill-luck, was ill-tempered. A union of two imperfect souls was bound to have some cracks in the framework without enough lubrication of understanding.
            Becky nagged and blew her cool quite often. Toby bared his fangs when upset and threatened to divorce his now “gullible insipid nagging wife.” For that was his way of describing her after discovering her flaws. Becky yearned for attention, Toby longed for respect and gradually the rudder of their love became rocked by a chain of misunderstanding, quarrels and a litany of word bandying. It was only a matter of time and the cloak of the marriage seemed to burst at its Seams.
             The love had disappeared like lightening in dry weather and had burned out like a candle in a cold weather; the endurance had now set in as though the whole marriage thing was subjected to a marathon trek.
Everything had gradually crumbled, the pleasurable looks in their eyes and the fulfilling kisses at night time for the very love they shared was now sitting on a keg of gunpowder.
           While you can easily imagine that this marriage is heading for its breaking point, it brings to mind the high rate of divorce in our society today. Gradually, the toll keeps rising. Too many people that divorce today never once dreamt that they would be divorcees. Hello dear, before you make that mistake, it’s good to remind you that beneath those make-ups are little flaws which lend credence to each woman’s imperfection. As well, underneath those broad shoulders, the TDK (Tall, Dark and Handsome) personality is the real man you are yet to meet; it’s possible you are still battling with illusion.
          While searching for a partner, you’ve got to be very careful but remember that a husband and a wife are two imperfect persons bounded together by an oath of love. Don’t blame your partner for all the wrong doings. Try to adjust your view. “Could I have been the problem?” “Who am I to blame?” This will give you an enormous ability to improve on yourself. The great writer, William Shakespeare said, “Do not trust so much upon my love for I may do that which you may be sorry for.”
          Hence it is advisable to have a tolerance bank   for your partner. If you expect a partner who is moralistic, how moralistic are you? If you expect a partner who is not hot tempered, work on your temper too. The degree to which you upgrade yourself is the degree to which you get an upgraded personality.
Do not be deceived, it’s only in magnets that unlike terms attract. In human relationships, like terms attract unless where one has to make up for the deficiencies of the other. People tend to associate with people of their class hence before you start looking for that perfect partner, work on yourself; get yourself prepared, so that you will not be the little fox that will spoil the vine. If you are already married, do your best to make it work and together, we’ll make our society better for us and our children.

CHIJINDU UMUNNAKWE